 |
| What Is Negotiator Child Training |
Characteristics and behaviors
These kids have a strong future career in business. They seem to be born with street smarts in abundance. They are able to engage people and humor them. People like them (mostly). Parenting them is an experience half-filled with humor and half-filled with a desire to throttle them.
Golden Rule: Negotiators have more energy to put into any battle than any parent ever has.
This means it is very important, when parenting these children, to select your negotiation issues carefully. Too many, and not only will you be ineffective, you'll be exhausted as well.
The Negotiators of this world are cunning and funny. They will try to control by resisting direction and requests. They engage other people by being jokesters, and they are generally good at it. It's just that they don't know when to stop.
A common thread with Negotiators is that they use distraction to get out of any area in which they might fail. The truth for these kids is a very flexible commodity that can be shaped to fit almost any circumstance.
There is a great story in which an old guy says to a younger one: "No matter how far you travel, or how smart you get, always remember this: some day, somewhere, a guy is going to come up to you, and show you a nice new pack of cards with an unbroken seal and that guy is going to bet you that the Jack of Spades will jump out of this pack and squirt cider in your ear. But son," the old guy says, "do not bet him, for sure as you do, you are going to get an ear full of cider."
The Negotiator is always the one squirting the cider.
Why they need help
As humorous and engaging as these children are, wheeling and dealing often gives them a bad name with teachers, and they can end up in all sorts of trouble. Also, in their working lives they need to learn about integrity - doing what you say you will, being who you say you are.
Common adult responses to misbehavior
The funniness of Negotiators can make parents change their responses from laughing with them to feeling used by them. We all run the risk of becoming our own worst enemy with these kids. The reason is because they are funny, really funny. So we laugh along with them in the hope that this will build goodwill. Ha! These kids will turn on you in a matter of moments, and you can easily end up feeling used and personally offended by them.
Just as the parents of Manipulators can easily mirror the very behavior they want to stop by trying to catch their child out, parents of Negotiators also run the risk of trying to outwit them. This results in power struggles, with parents saying things like, "I'll show them not to defy me," "I will have them submit to my way of doing things," or "They don't respect me."
Common responses when told to stop misbehaving
The Negotiators of this world don't want to show you they are compliant. A dismissive shrug of the shoulder or a wise crack is often all the response you will get.
Some Negotiators will actually change their behavior when requested to do so by parents, but do it in such a "card-sharp" way that it doesn't seem like they have complied. Parents need to focus on actions, not on words or attitude.
Other Negotiators will suddenly find themselves "injured" and "in pain" in an attempt to distract from the issue at hand. Some Negotiators can really enjoy a short burst of ill health. To find out more, you can check out What Is Negotiator Child Training.