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| Calming Hyper Kids Down |
As a general rule, don't position yourself between a raging bright kid and his means of escape, as he may well barrel his way through you to get out. This means staying out of the pathway he has to doors or open windows. Make sure you give a bright kid in meltdown enough space so that you don't get hurt yourself.
In a meltdown, the fewer words you use, the better. If you do have to speak, do so softly and with calm authority. Meltdowns allow you to show bright kids that no matter how angry or out of control they get, you will be able to keep them safe.
A meltdown takes as long as a meltdown takes. There is no way of rushing it. When things are really serious, you have to be prepared to miss that appointment, be late for work, or not walk out the door. Trying to speed up a meltdown will only extend it. Meltdowns will, hopefully, be reasonably rare.
Bright kids often feel quite upset and exhausted after a meltdown, so avoid the temptation to discuss the issues that led to it. Just be with your bright kid and use this time as an opportunity to have him know that you love him.
Calm-downs
Most bright kids need advanced calm-down skills from time to time. The skills of calming down from an upset can be learned and practiced. If you've ever been with someone who is really stressed and irritated, and then walked away feeling a bit jumpy yourself, you'll know that agitation is contagious. The good news is that calmness is also contagious.
In parenting bright kids, there will be times when the most important thing you can do is become self-aware. When a bright kid is all rewed-up with nowhere to go, it is all too easy to join him in a chaotic "loop the loop." Instead, pause. Look inside yourself and notice what is happening to you. Is your heart beating faster? Are you breathing quickly? Are you speaking a million words a minute? Pause. Slow down your breathing and lessen the numbers of words you are speaking. Breathe more deeply and slowly between your statements. Change the tone of your voice. Shift your posture so you can be more relaxed. The trick here is to take your sail out of their winds.
When you are in the midst of conflict, you lose perspective. Where you can, slow down, regain your own calm, and then show your bright kid how to decelerate the argument.
Calming bright kids down
Here are some of my favorite methods for calming bright kids down. You might like to read over them and try them out to see which ones suit your child. Teach these methods to bright kids when they are calm so they can use them when they are upset.
The inner bubble of laughter
Close your eyes and gently begin to focus on how your body is feeling. Parts of you may feel tired and heavy, other parts may feel light and energized. Sometimes, if you start to relax, a bubbling laughter rises from your innards, like bubbles in a glass of lemonade. See if you can find the inner laugh and let it bubble up for you.
Anchoring
Imagine a time in your life when you felt very happy and confident. For some parents of bright kids it will be a recent memory, for others it may be a long time ago. Find that time, and notice where in your body you feel that feeling. For some it will be in your chest, for others your head, and for yet others it may he in your hands or arms. Now, with your writing hand, put the tip of your thumb and your index finger together and squeeze gently. Use this movement as a cue to remember this feeling of happiness and confidence. In the future, if times get tough, all you will need to do is to repeat that process of squeezing together the tips of your thumb and index finger of your writing hand to recall a time when things were better. To find out more, you can check out Calming Hyper Kids Down.