On this post is an outline of belonging as it affects the different types of bright kids. Have a look at this and see if any particular issues have priority for you or your child, as these can guide you in setting some clear goals.
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| Characteristics Of Different Types Of Children |
Belonging and the characteristics of bright kids
Healthy belonging
Manipulators
Self - can be direct with people and allow others to see their own vulnerabilities.
Family - is able to be a child rather than a mini-parent. Doesn't have to impress all the time.
School - can complain directly that something is unfair rather than being sneaky.
Friends - has some close friends of a similar age.
Communal values - wants to succeed but can make mistakes.
Negotiators
Self - is energetic and focused on achieving positive goals.
Family - is an entertainer who knows when to stop. Is able to express and receive genuine love.
School - finds positive outlets for skills.
Friends - mixes with a range of friends rather than just those with similar inclinations.
Communal values - wheels and deals.
Debaters
Self - is able to meet own needs.
Family - feels loved, wanted, and listened to.
School - is able to consider others' needs and to comply with at least some decisions by a teacher without extensive debate.
Friends - is able to take a backseat role at times with friends without feeling mistreated.
Communal values - disputes and debates.
Competitors
Self - is self-reliant but can accept loss and mistakes.
Family - is able to ask others for help as well as assisting others.
School - is successful but not domineering.
Friends - has some stable friends.
Communal values - wants to succeed but can make mistakes; can occasionally tolerate not winning; tries activities that he/she may not be good at.
Dare Devils
Self - cares for own safety; can plan and assess dangers and risks,
Family - can let others know what the plans are.
School - is able to focus on challenges.
Friends - has a diverse range, from thrillseekers to calmer kids.
Communal values - engages in thrills and spills; plans for an exciting, adventurous life.
Passive Resisters
Self - communicates openly.
Family - confides and talks through at least some problems.
School - has a trusting and open relationship with at least one teacher.
Friends - has a few positive confidants.
Communal values - spends time alone but can come out of their shell.
Distorted belonging
Manipulators
Self - needs to impress and to give false impressions.
Family - acts like a mini-adult and can out-parent the parents.
School - is sneaky.
Friends - has generally short-term friendships only.
Communal values - seeks adult approval to the extent of alienating peers. Thinks the end justifies the means.
Negotiators
Self - is ruthless, tacking consideration or compassion.
Fami|y - is dismissive of family requests and rules.
School - decides he/she is not good at school and gives up trying. Attains "success" through being class clown.
Friends - uses affection to gain ground. Employs emotional blackmail.
Communal values - trusts no one.
Debaters
Self - can t accept affection; holds grudges for a long, long time.
Family - has poor relationships with brothers and sisters.
School - wears teachers out through disputes.
Friends - apart from fellow combatants, has very few true friends.
Communal values - seeks revenge.
Competitors
Self - is lonely and isolated.
Fami|y - spends a lot of time in their room; doesn't participate in family activities.
School - has a "must win at any cost" attitude.
Friends - boasts, competes, and groats; does not win gracefully.
Communal values - restricts activities to those he/she is definitely good at.
Dare Devils
Self - lacks self-care and consideration for the safety of others.
Family - finds it hard to accept affection and love.
School - finds it hard to settle and focus in class.
Friends - mixes only with other kids with poor impulse control.
Communal values - is ruled by impulses.
Passive Resisters
Self - is isolated and hard to know.
Family - does not participate with or confide in family.
School - loses clothes and property; is close to no one.
Friends - has either no close friends or a few unsociable ones who stand out from the rest of the peer group.
Communal values - withdraws.
To find out more, you can check out Characteristics Of Different Types Of Children.