For many bright kids, parents are about that predictable. They know what you are going to do before you have even thought of doing it. When things get stuck, look for ways to do things differently. As a wise old saying goes, craziness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
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| Effects Of Domestic Violence And Abuse On Children |
8. Get some help (call in the cavalry)
Some problems are too large, too concerning, or too serious to be handled alone, and it's important to know when things are out of control and you need outside help. The advice of other parents is invaluable, and while it takes a step of courage to ask someone else for ideas, you'll be surprised how flattered they will feel to be asked.
Professional assistance may be needed, however, when there is a risk to the long-term welfare of the family - such as in situations of physical violence, depression, self-harm, or suicidal tendencies.
Violence and depression
Violence and depression are two of the big fears for parents of bright kids: these kids might attract aggression, and they are also quite vulnerable to becoming depressed - as are their parents!
Violence and abuse
No one should experience violence. Violence between family members damages everyone's heart and spirit, and if it can't be contained, this means that the people involved can't live together. While violence includes verbal abuse and cruelty as well as emotional abuse and neglect, physical aggression is terribly damaging for young people. A large proportion of the young people that I have seen who attempted suicide did so after years of family conflict but only went on to attempt suicide after the conflict became physically violent.
Domestic violence - even when it doesn't directly involve the children - still breaks their spirits, and is a clear call for some form of professional help.
Sexual abuse within a family is an incredibly traumatic and confusing event that can literally drive people mad. If this is happening, get help. How to assist young people who have experienced sexual abuse is worth a whole blog on its own. However, for families facing this issue, it's almost impossible to recover without the help of a skilled guide or counselor.
Depression
With bright kids exhibiting high levels of depression, referral to a mental health worker is also important. The teen years are notable for increases in self-deprecation, boredom, and depression.
Don't wait to act on this. The longer bright kids stay in one emotional state, the more familiar it becomes to them. Allowing an irritated bright kid to stay angry doesn't fix things. Leaving a sullen bright kid to experience sadness and despair for a while won't help. Bright kids rarely just grow out of problems.
Basically, the picture is that more young people today than ever before experience depression, and they begin feeling depressed at younger and younger ages. Middle adolescence (15-17 years) is a peak time for developing depression, and young women are at least twice as likely as young men to develop it. Some bright kids can get depressed at quite young ages.
The nasty news is that once you've experienced depression, you are more likely to experience it again and are more likely to have other problems such as substance abuse.
There are quite a few warning signs that may indicate suicide risk. Probably the most important is that the bright kid seems to be coping differently, compared with their usual way of living. Some people, after a period of unhappiness and depression, resolve to die, and then inexplicably anesthetize themselves to die decision. As a result, they cheer up. These people need to be asked firmly about a suicide plan, as they can repress it to the extent that they lose awareness of it. It is only by jolting them back through direct questioning that they can discuss it. To find out more, you can check out Effects Of Domestic Violence And Abuse On Children.