Belonging is the driving force behind peer pressure, and it can be either healthy or distorted. During the preschool years, children engage in independent play, so there is generally little peer pressure. The tasks of sharing toys and attention are the two main issues at this stage.
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| Peer Pressure In Teenagers Facts |
During primary school, there are often clusters of friendships, with boys and girls usually in different groups. There will be a strong awareness of who gets invited to parties and for sleepovers.
The early high-school years see friendship clusters - girls' groups are tighter, more exclusive, and more status-conscious than boys'. The degree of the child's physical development is important here.
Apart from showing how powerful perceived prettiness is even at age six for girls, popularity in the later teen years has more to do with social skills and confidence than appearance.
Diversify
Alongside knowing your child's peers as a way of countering negative peer pressure, is diluting that pressure. Ensuring that your bright kid has a range of friends not only contributes to her resilience, but also means she is less likely to be led astray by a few others. Strategies for diversifying the peer group include travel, youth groups, broadening your connection with your extended family, changing schools, and, in some cases, moving away from the area you live in.
Peer pressure and the different types of bright kids
Parents often speak about the sorts of negative peer pressure that affect their bright kid. Let's look at these.
Manipulators
Manipulators can be the source of negative peer pressure on others. Teach them to be direct in their dealings with others. Have a zero-tolerance approach to rumor-spreading, bullying, or talking behind others' backs.
Negotiators
Negotiators are often regarded as "cool" by others. Divide and conquer: never negotiate with them in front of their peers.
Competitors
The pressure that Competitors feel to be better than anyone else can lead to loneliness and vulnerability to taunts and bullying from others. Help them to differentiate between fair-weather and true friends.
Debaters
Peers can usually play Debaters like a fiddle. Debaters' natural courage can lead them into battle on behalf of the insincere.
Dare Devils
Oh, dear! A gaggle of Dare Devils hanging out together is a recipe for parental anxiety. Try to make sure your Dare Devil has a variety of friends, including some calmer types. When Dare Devils do mix with other Dare Devils, make sure it is in structured situations, such as organized sport.
Passive Resisters
One special friend can make all the difference to a Passive Resister. These bright kids may associate for a time with younger peers. Try to give them a mix of ages to socialize with, including your own friends.
Perfectionism
Perfectionism is the biggest killer of motivation that I know of. Unless we tackle it head on, it will stop many bright kids in their tracks and make them avoid trying out new activities and adventures.
The quest for perfection
Does your bright kid pay more attention to his mistakes than to his correct answers? Does he have unrealistic expectations of his work? Is getting an A- rather than an A+ a major catastrophe? Does he get upset at anything in life that doesn't work perfectly? If so, welcome to the world of the perfectionist.
Like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, perfection is impossible. As Salvador Dali once commented, "Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it." But despite the unattainability of it all, perfectionism has an invasive grip over the lives of many bright kids.
Perfectionism can be a cause of both stress and positive behavior. It drives some people to great achievements far beyond their wildest dreams. Mix it with a punishing attitude, however, and it can stifle imagination and crush the spirit. Also, what's great for achievement is not always great for relationships.
Don't get me wrong here: I like a certain amount of perfectionism in my dentists, airline pilots, taxi drivers, and surgeons. The issue here is the amount of it and the effect it has on your child. To find out more, you can check out Peer Pressure In Teenagers Facts.